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Christmas Jumper Jokes 2020

We finish the year with wealth managers and their pets donning their best festive jumpers and telling us their favourite Christmas joke.

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Sandra Dailidyte

Client Senior Manager

Brown Shipley, Edinburgh

What did Santa do when he went speed-dating?

He pulled a cracker!

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David Semmens & Byron

Head of investment strategy, interim CIO

Wealthify

Why did Mrs. Claus insist Santa take an umbrella?

Because of the rain, dear.

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WH Ireland London Investment Staff

Top level L-R: George Holloway – Investment Manager, Martin Guilbert – Investment Manager, Kevin Adams – Investment Manager

Bottom level L-R: Bradley Massey - Wealth Management Support, Steven Beaney – Investment Manager, Megan Rising - Team Secretary & Administration Assistants

What happened to the person who stole an advent calendar?

They got 25 days….

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Neil Williams

Partner

Shard Capital

What goes “Oh, Oh, Oh”?

Santa walking backwards

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Tess Williams

Client Senior Manager

Brown Shipley, Leeds

Why is Cinderella no good at Hockey?

She always runs away from the ball

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Ruffer Team, Edinburgh

Top Level L-R: Duncan MacInnes, investment director, Rebecca Holloway, business development associate

Bottom Level L-R: Oliver Pile, investment director, Toby Barklem, Business development director

What do they sing at a snowman’s birthday?

Freeze a jolly good fellow!

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Joel Dungate

Investment analyst

Redmayne Bentley

What do you call a bunch of grandmasters of chess bragging about their games in a hotel lobby? 

Chess nuts boasting in an open foyer

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Shane Balkham

CIO

Beaufort Investment

How will Christmas dinner be different after Brexit?

No Brussels!

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Tony Yousefian & Leo

Portfolio manager

Beckett Asset Management

Where did Mr & Mrs Snowman meet?

At a Snowball

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Meera Hearnden

Senior investment manager

Parmenion

What do you get when you cross a snowman with a vampire?

Frostbite!

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Phil Harris

Director

Brown Shipley, Leeds

What did one snowman say to the other?

Can you smell carrot?

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Elliot Walton & Oscar

Market strategist

Kleinwort Hambros 

What’s a dog’s favourite carol?

Bark, the herald angels sing

 

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Ernst Knacke

Head of research

Shard Capital

Why is it getting harder to buy Advent calendars?

Their days are numbered!

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Vince Hopkins

Director and Head of Business Development

BRI Wealth Management

What does Santa suffer from if he gets stuck in a chimney?

Claus-trophobia!

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Paul Spann

Client Director

Brown Shipley Manchester

Why did no one bid for Donna and Blitzen on eBay? 

Because they were two deer...

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Simon Hughes

Head of marketing,

Shard Capital

Why are Christmas trees so fond of the past?

Because the present’s beneath them!

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